| its been a while since i last updated i realize, but really i dont know what to say: the summer is coming to an end and so all there really is to do is think back and remember how it was spent. there are many things i wish that i had done differently and things which i would have altogether not have included but with as pessimism aside, this was a memorable summer.
may..never really felt school had ended yet, and work took all the free time i currently had into plotting better and more exciting things to do before the summer ended. my job wasnt bad at the time but it wasnt altogether exciting either; i was still learning what to do and trying to remember the routine (the parentals seemed distant at the time also, like they were just waiting for me to mess up as to get me fired.) may was not a great start to the summer but it sufficed more or less.
june..started slow, still like may, but i began to get used to the routine boredom which is my job after having worked a good number of hours in one week. i got a tan though, and learned the obnoxious kids at my pools' names and even the not-so-bad ones' also. birthday rolled around and went to jones bridge to celebrate. here i saw Mi for the first time during the summer, and in fact the last time too :/. after playing soccer and football with her and her friend Annie and some of my friends from norcross and duluth, we imagined ourselves to be indians and tried to best the river. although we lacked the tribal war paint and eagle feathers, we managed pretty well. halfway across it broke out raining, and being the primitive indians that we were, we could not think of some solution except to return to the original side of the river. here we used the newly discovered "mobile" to call home and ask for a ride back. Mi and .. me wandered off to watch the rain fall near the river, the rest of my tribe having gone off to play soccer in the rain. it got foggy from the heat and quiet due to the fishermen having backed up and gone home. i didnt notice so much though, as i was lost in this beautiful girls' eyes (she later got green contacts >.< guess i ll just have to get used to them). so in the foggy forest, while getting rained on, we kissed. after we got home we played ddr, she gave me a gift for my birthday, we kissed again, and the second she left i wanted to see her again. the rest of june was pretty bland, the occasional get together with my old buddies, arguements and disappointments at work, everything still felt routine.
july..it had appeared that this would be the month to fix everything wrong that was happening in my life (was getting my liscense on the 16th). i had planned to see Mi again before this, at the river again since we shared such good memories from there. she left to go there after asking a friend for a ride and i, thinking i had a ride agreed upon meeting them there. of course i later did not have a ride, all my friends having other plans and the parentals having plans of their own that did not include giving me rides. and so i was left alone, without a ride, feeling guilty for leaving Mi and Annie alone at the park at the mercy of a bunch of horny guys that were most likely there waiting for such a case. after being in the doghouse for a week, Mi and i started to converse regularly again. i always felt that we were not on the same level after this though, clearly she did not deserve my constant let downs and misfortunes, however i didnt tell her this because i was afraid to lose her. i assured her that things would be ok after i got my liscense. it came to pass that i was wrong again. although i had passed my drivers test, i was without a vehicle to drive and after having my parents force me to deposit half my pay checks into saving, i was without the money to buy one myself. i was told that i would have one of my own to drive before school and as soon as we sold our big green van. until then i was to share a vehicle with my sister who was attending classes at georgia tech regularing over the summer and going to lake lanier whenever she wasn't, still leaving me without a vehicle to drive. so i thought," whats the point of getting my liscense if i still have nothing to drive?" near the 25th or so, i was finally allowed limited access to a vehicle, a ford taurus with poor transmission. of course, whenever i left somewhere i had to clock in and out with my parents and bring the car back by a certain time so still, driving was pretty pointless most the time. at work i managed to finally enjoy myself by acquainting myself with many of the people there and befriending many of the kids. althought my inner turmoil was great, i tried to display that everything was going fine when i was at work; i told all the kids who asked about my "girlfriend" in tucker and many seemed tranquil as i told them about her, probably hoping for the same person when they got older. this made me realize how much i took her for granted; i should have called her every night and tried even harder than i already had to see her more.
august..after establishing an army of 5 year old junior lifeguards and teaching them signals as the comunicate with the other lifeguards, i gave them some sunglasses and a whistle and taught them various "twirling" techniques. the kids quickly decided upon my being "the nicest and the best lifeguard." i was flattered but doubtful that many (some parents liked me very much, in part for having played with their kids and making the pool so exciting for them) of the parents and pool supervisers thought the same. they didn't as when my next pay check came and i got notice of "lifeguard of the month" the said lifeguard did not even have the smallest bit of notice in the newsletter. it may have been because one kid at the pool really made my mood hostile as he asked numerous questions at rapid fire pace without even listening to the answer so i was asked the same question about 7 times, but that too is doubtful for the reason. school was approaching so i had to finish my summer reading, i tried but to no avail so i just listened to the book on tape and read the sparknotes online to spark (pun not intended) the key moments in the book. i went to a movie on the grass at duluth and played with a frisbee before the movie. when the movie started, my friends and i, and some people which i hardly knew, decided early that we were not going to watch the movie. a couple which some of my friends and those other people which i hardly knew decided to harass them and poured ice on them, as i later found out. i wasnt into that so much though, and suggested that we go lay down beside them while they were smooching. we did so and truthfully, it looked pretty gay. 3 girls were watching us as we were doing this which we found strange; they were looking in the complete opposite direction as the movie and were looking straight at us. one of the kids i hardly knew, kyle, went to go talk to this girls and the rest decided to go sit in front of them and stare at them. instead they started chanting, after giving them proper time to finish their chants, i walked in front of them and blessed them. kyle then proceeded to question the girls as to why they were looking at us excessively. they denied saying they were just looking at random people and we looked strange all lieing near each other. we told them that that was strange of them to look at other people, and that stalkers did the same. the girls quickly became offended and asked us to leave, but kyle denied. he wished to tell them a story. his story went on and on, and every time they would interupt he would add more. the girls, we found out were rising 8th graders and kyle explained that when they are freshmen, we would be seniors and so they should remember the story well, so they could tell their friends. they showed their immaturity when kyle claimed that he taught karate and they asked if he taught in a karate studio. the rest of us left now, as the girls were unsuccessful in good conversation and talking with rising 8th graders was a bit strange, i mean we didnt even know what fads they were into. 20 minutes or so, we checked back and kyle was still over there talking to them, 2 of the 3 girls enjoying his story, finding him to be a funny guy, the third complaining and threatening to call the cops in which kyle explained that he taught the cops karate. we were worried he might actually get in trouble for "harassing" them by telling them a story, we went back over. trying to stir up some drama i said," wow..8th grade..so does that mean you guys have gone through puberty yet?" i had hoped that this would open kyle's eyes and he would leave them alone as they were pretty young but i was mistaken yet again. eventually he left but i cant remember the cause exactly. sadly 2 more young girls walked by and he went to talk to them, carefully noting them as "lesbians" because they were holding hands. they were interested and he gave them a phone number although it wasnt his. so after this night was over and my friends and everyone else returned home, although in good fun, im glad i didnt give in to being a complete asshole that night. i went to ethans afterwards and we played ddr and watched a movie and then the following morning i returned home, wasted most the day and decided that it was finally time to update my xanga, having only 1 day left before school starts.
although i did many things, and the lack of this summer, i think ive learned from them and actually understood more now. i know that many times i act on impulse but later regret doing something, or saying something that hurts someone else. hopefully soon i will get a car and will be able to finally visit Mi (schools about to start and still sharing a vehicle, which i am not surprised after recent events.) hopefully the school year will be as promising as the summer was an with the lack of football responsiblities, i can actually go visit people, and have a life in highschool. still though, its highschool and no one really cares now, since college is most everyones focus once you get here. like you live in the future and not in the present, which is my case, but also in the past.
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde, Irish author |
............::*shhhhh*::.....it'll be our little secret!!
alrighty, im out